Normal is defined as "conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural" (LLC, 2011). A study from the Journal of the American Medical Association in 1999 focused on sexual dysfunction which, for the purposes of the study, was defined as those having difficulty achieving orgasm, achieving sexual arousal, or not wishing to engage in sex regularly. This study showed that 7 out of 20 people would be clinically classified as sexually dysfunctional (Brame, 2000). These results put into stark perspective the use of the term "normal" when applied to interpersonal interaction especially when you consider that depictions of alternative sexual preferences and expressions in mainstream media, including but not limited to BDSM, has drastically increased over the last 20 years. These representations have not only increased in popularity but have also moved away from being seen as dangerous and shocking to being considered normal and perfectly healthy (Weiss, 2006).

There is no right and wrong when addressing what someone finds appealing.

Our world is diverse and so it should stand to reason that sexual preference and taste should be diverse as well. Society, for the majority of us, has conditioned us to believe that sexual expression that is monogamous, marital, noncommercial, reproductive, heterosexual, relational, homo-generational, at home and without the use of "manufactured objects" is what is considered normal, healthy, and safe (Weiss, 2006). Those who engage in this type of sexual expression are praised and congratulated on their choices despite whether or not they make that person happy. In contrast, society condemns anyone who engages in sexual activities that are homosexual, promiscuous, unmarried, commercial, nonproductive, alone or in groups, cross-generational, casual, in public or with objects as this type of expression is seen as unnatural and dangerous (Weiss, 2006). We are taught to be ashamed of participating in these types of activities and are encouraged to shame others for doing so as well even if it makes that person happy.

A person needs to decide for themselves what is right, wrong, normal or abnormal.

There is nothing to be ashamed about for being attracted to or by something that is not flavored "vanilla". There are important safety considerations and other ethical concerns that must be addressed when choosing this lifestyle but that does not mean that you are a freak for doing so... After all, consider that there would not be such an abundance of toys, porn, tutorials, books, websites, play parties, and groups if there was not a market for it.

BDSM support, social, and educational groups can be found across Canada, in every US state, and in numerous foreign countries, we are not alone (Kleinplatz, 2006).

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Written September 2, 2011

Article References

Kleinplatz, D. P. (2006). Introduction: The State of Our Knowledge on SM. Journal of Homosexuality , Vol 50, No 2/3; 1-15.

LLC. (2011). Dictionary.com. Retrieved 05 20, 2011, from Dictionary.com: http://dictionary.reference.com/

Weiss, M. D. (2006). Mainstreaming Kink: The Politics of BDSM Represenation in US Popular Media. Sweet Briar College , 103-129.

Image References

Image 1: http://leclaire4english1011.blogspot.ca/2010/08/american-gothic.html | Retrieved September 2, 2011

Image 2: Created by Fallen People Entertainment

Image 3: http://mipagina.univision.com/jessieq | Retrieved September 2, 2011

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